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The week of Christmas has always felt magical to me, but not in the ways you think.

Christmas morning was always delightful because, well, of course it was. Who doesn't want to wake up to the smell of homemade cinnamon rolls, soft music, and stuffed stockings??? C'mon!

Despite the dazzle of the actual day, even as a kid, Christmas Day never felt actually magical. I knew it was just the buzz that people assigned the day and not because of anything else.

(It's not even the day Yeshua of Nazareth was actually born 🙄 so you can't even say that it's some sort of energetic portal day for that reason either. Don't get me started on how the Roman Empire co-opted pagan holidays as a psyop for control, that's a nerd talk for another day. ANYWAYS ---)

When I was introduced to the concept of Yule and the energetic honoring that happened on the Solstice, I knew in my soul, this was the energy I've always felt this week.

This was the magic I've always felt stirring, all the way down in my bones.

It's recent resurgence as an acknowledged threshold day is a remembrance, a homecoming to our more intrinsic, ancient ways of being, belonging, and soul tending.

AND I LOVE THAT FOR US!!! 💃💃💃

But there is an aspect to this season that makes it magical and not just another to-do in our hustle-bustle culture of gilded baubles and artificial light.

It's darkness.

Deep, unflinching darkness.

One of the things I love about our pagan ancestors was that they weren't venerating gods during this season

They were honoring their animal nature to hibernate.
They were syncing with the land in a collective exhale.

And? They were celebrating this as a season of surviving monsters.

👹 The monstrous odds of survival against an unforgiving landscape
👹 the monsters of foreign lands coming to conquer, and
👹 the monsters disguised as friends that prey upon the tenderest parts of our hearts

And those are just the monsters of the external world!

Since Winter is a time of rest and reflection...this is also a time to sit with the monsters within.

The Solstices are when we honor the dance between light and dark, with the understanding that we need both. The Summer Solstice is a time when we honor the light while turning towards the dark, which means that the Winter Solstice is when we honor the dark while turning towards the light. Most people are real comfy with the Light part of this equation. They can honor the light in the summer and turn towards it eagerly in the winter. But...honor the dark? Wdym??? 👀 That's a big scary ask for many. But it doesn't have to be. So when I say "Dark" or "Darkness," I mean the gentle dark. I mean the twinkling caress of night in a sky full of stars. I mean the soft puff of breath you can finally release when you're no longer required to maintain appearances or hide away your jagged edges. The Dark, The Long Night, the Winter Solstice --- doesn't judge anyone or any part of us. It's provides a honest place of respite where there is no posturing and no need for armor. There a such a softness available to us when we're able to fully embrace The Dark. But, like, how? *How* do you embrace the dark? By embracing the monstrous and dark parts of yourself. The parts that make you cringe. The parts that make you promise to be a better person. The parts that you feel pressured to cover up with resolutions every year. The parts you self-flagellate for out of shame because why are you like this. Yeah, those parts. Those monsters. The monsters of our psyche have wisdom to offer us (even if they come out in ways that are unacceptable, especially then).

From Ash's Corner

We are not whole beings without our monsters and demons. We obviously cannot be JUST them, cannot allow them to rule our lives...but we also cannot be without them.

They are as much a part of what makes us who we are as our gifts, talents, hopes, visions, and delights.

In fact, there is a rich trove of desire, momentum, ferocity, and (very closely guarded) tenderness that lives in the darkest parts of our persona.

If we have the courage to go spelunking into those shadowy corners, the gods, Universe, angels, and ancestors all immediately band together to help us in whatever it is we endeavor to do in life.

I believe that IN MY SOUL.

You know that little quip that says "you have no idea what violence it took to become this gentle" -- THAT ONE?? Facing the discomfort of looking within, of looking at your own patterns and deciding to do things differently -- that's what they're talking about.

And maybe it was physical violence, a life on a literal or metaphorical battlefield would inspire even the fiercest warriors to seek peace and poetry.

But when the violence is internal? That's included here too.

You have no idea what violence the gentlest people you know endured to become that way. Make no mistake, it was a choice.

And that choice, towards bravery, towards befriending their own monsters, translates into the unflinching ability to sit with concepts, people, and experiences that challenge and stretch us -- and to do so with grace.

I'll say it again: the darkness has such a gentleness to it when you stop being afraid of it.

Thanks for reading & Merry Christmas!

In cosmic camaraderie,

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P.O. Box 532, Cedar Springs, MI 49319
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